First a quote; “The way to develop the best that is in a man (woman, child, employee, any person who is important to you) is by appreciation and encouragement.” – Charles W. Schwab
Sometime today, please take a moment to reflect on the most important people in your life. For this activity, I propose you visualize two or three people from both your personal and professional networks.
Can you imagine their faces? What do you guess their inner moods to be? Are they smiling, happy, motivated, and energized? Or might they be discouraged, depressed, or feeling down?
It is likely, even probable, that one or more people in your inner circle are feeling discouraged by something going on in their life, right now, as you read this short commentary.
Almost all of us know someone who is battling a serious health concern, an addiction, job loss, loneliness, or a marriage/relationship crisis. Perhaps someone in your inner circle recently lost a loved one or is supporting an aging parent with declining health.
Feeling discouraged is a common life experience for most of us, at some level, and on some occasions.
Think about it this way; each of us has an “emotional bank account” we carry around within us as we go about our daily activities; a sort of a psychological or metaphorical piggybank. The balance in that account fluctuates up and down as we go through our daily routines.
I submit for your consideration that a person’s level of confidence, motivation, and self-esteem is tied directly to the balance in their “emotional bank account.” Sometimes, we run a surplus in that account and sometimes a deficit.
When our emotional bank account is running a positive balance and well into the black, we tend be more confident, excited, motivated, and more positive about ourselves and what life has to offer.
On other days, our emotional bank account might run a little low, or even at a deficit and “in the red.” When that happens, we often feel discouraged, tired, easily defeated, or at least challenged to “survive” the day or week ahead.
This is where two leadership skills and behaviors come into play. First, having the “emotional intelligence” to be aware of what others might be feeling; the ability to “sense” how full, or empty, their emotional bank account might be. And second, to make sure we tend to make more “emotional deposits” than we do “withdrawals.”
We motivate others by doing our part to help them run a positive balance in their emotional bank accounts. Just as your automobile needs to be refueled, so too are the needs of the people we live with, and/or lead. People need to have their “emotional bank accounts” refueled on a regular basis.
Now, reflecting on the important people in your life, or on your team, think about the last exchanges you have had with each of those individuals. Have you been making more metaphorical “deposits” than you have “withdrawals?”
When thinking about recent conversations with them, did they feel better about who they are; more optimistic, more hopeful, and more excited about taking on the challenges they face? Or perhaps, could they have felt more discouraged, less confident, less hopeful, and less motivated by your words and actions?
“How you make others feel about themselves, says a lot about you!” – Unknown
I’m willing to bet there is a strong connection between your team’s motivation level and the “fullness” of their collective emotional bank accounts. Are you making more deposits, or more withdrawals?
Just like your personal checking account must not be overdrawn without a penalty… the metaphorical balances we run with the people we lead, and live with, must also “run in the black,” at least most of the time. We must make more deposits than withdrawals on a regular basis or there will be a “relational penalty” assessed at some point in time.
While all balances will fluctuate up and down as we face life’s challenges, running a continually negative balance will eventually lead to foreclosure and closed accounts.
What balances are you running today? Any deficits? Where might you make a few deposits today? Set a goal for today, or perhaps for the week… how many deposits can you make by Friday?
Thank you for reading today. Please feel free to “like, share, or forward.”
Have a great week! Sincerely,
Bonus Quotes Below.
Bryan Yager
“Expanding Your Capacity for Success”
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Bonus Quotes:
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“Be an encourager, the world has enough critics already.” – Unknown
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“Be somebody who makes everybody feel like a somebody.” – Unknown
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“We can improve our relationships with others by leaps and bounds if we become encouragers instead of critics.” – Joyce Meyer
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“You never know how strong you are, until being strong is your only choice.” – Bob Marley
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“Every second you dwell on your past you steal from your future. Every minute you spend focusing on your problems you take away from finding your solutions.” – Robin Sharma
First published on March 26, 2018, this article has been modified and updated.
